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Posted : admin | On 10-05-2021

Until your eyes glaze over after about a half-hour, “Machete Kills” might put a twisted smirk of guilty amusement on your face. The high point of those opening minutes is a fantastically gaudy fake trailer for a sequel, “Machete Kills Again ... In Space,” which embodies the director Robert Rodriguez’s nostalgia for trashy B-movie exploitation flicks.

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All too soon, “Machete Kills” collapses into a deranged, directionless splatter comedy that exhausts its bag of tricks, many of them recycled from this grindhouse auteur’s 2010 spoof, “Machete.” Even the cleverest new toy, a weapon that turns bodies inside out, is so unimaginatively deployed that it’s good for a yawn.

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Once again, Danny Trejo — the monosyllabic, stone-faced 69-year-old actor who resembles a craggier, pint-size younger cousin of Willie Nelson — is the absurdly indestructible title character. Here he is enlisted by the United States president (Charlie Sheen, credited by his real name, Carlos Estevez) to forestall catastrophe. The weaselly chief executive, who is shown being distracted in bed by several pliable babes who pass him the red phone from hand to hand, is not the sort of leader to inspire confidence.

The threat comes from Mendez (Demian Bichir), a Mexican drug lord and revolutionary with multiple personality disorder and an explosive device implanted in his heart. Should anything happen to that organ, a nuclear missile will be triggered to wipe out Washington.

It isn’t until the second half of the movie that we meet the bomb’s diabolical creator, Voz (Mel Gibson), a billionaire arms dealer intent on spreading chaos around the globe while he and his inner circle gleefully look down from outer space. From the moment Machete dons a spacesuit, the film turns into the sloppiest imitation of a James Bond movie ever made.

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“Machete” is stuffed with Mr. Rodriguez’s version of Bond girls, the most lethal being Desdemona (Sofia Vergara), the man-hating madam of a brothel, who, in revenge for her father’s abuse, feasted on his genitals and turned her breasts and crotch into lethal weapons.

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Amber Heard plays Machete’s duplicitous handler, a blond bombshell who wins the Miss San Antonio contest. Walton Goggins, Cuba Gooding Jr., Antonio Banderas and Lady Gaga all play the same shape-shifting assassin, who peels off a mask to reveal each new identity.

With its desperate stunt casting, witless “Star Wars” allusions and bloat that suggests that Mr. Rodriguez got carried away, “Machete Kills” loses its mojo. It commits the unpardonable sin of being dull.

“Machete Kills” is rated R (Under 17 requires an accompanying parent or adult guardian) for intense, bloody violence; strong language; and sexual content.